——致甜甜同学的一封信
——A letter to Tiantian
甜甜同学:
Sweet students:
你好!你听过这样一个故事吗:
Hello! Have you heard such a story:
有位画家,立志要画一幅人间最美的画,长途跋涉了许多年,游历了无数的地方,可始终没有找到自己满意的素材,终于有一天,他感到倦怠了,想到了家,想到了年迈的母亲。他立即整理行装火速往家赶,就在他爬上熟悉的小山坡时,眼前的景象却使他震撼了:母亲倚在村口的梧桐树下,眺望着远方,落日余辉洒满全身,如同一尊雕塑,树上的火风鸟陪伴着她,画家终于发现,美原来在自己身边。
There is a painter who is determined to draw the most beautiful painting in the world. He has traveled for many years and traveled many places, but he has never found his own satisfactory materials. One day, he felt tired, thought of home and his old mother. He immediately packed up and rushed home, and when he climbed the familiar hillside, the sight of him shocked him. His mother leaned against the Wutong tree under the entrance of the village and looked far away. The sun was shining all over the body, like a sculpture. The Huo Feng bird on the tree was accompanying her. The painter finally found that beauty was there by itself.
成长也是如此。青春、智慧乃至生命,是人生不息的咏叹,但需要你用心去发现其中的乐趣。不然总是觉得阳光没有照到自己。
The same is true of growth. Youth, wisdom and even life are the eternal aria of life, but it needs your heart to find the fun. Otherwise, I always feel that the sun doesn't shine on me.
被苹果砸到的牛顿;打算用枪结束自己的保尔;吞下大量安眠药的张海迪——他们都是苦难的幸存者,也是快乐的发现者:牛顿发现了地球引力;保尔扣动板机前一刹那发现了生存的价值,创作了《钢铁是怎样炼成的》这部巨作;张海迪发现生命曙光后,重新呼吸,自学了六国语言和医学。
Newton who was hit by an apple; Paul who was going to end his life with a gun; Zhang Haidi who swallowed a lot of sleeping pills -- both survivors of suffering and happy discoverers: Newton discovered the earth's gravity; Paul discovered the value of survival in a moment before he pulled the trigger, and created the masterpiece how steel is made; Zhang Haidi breathed again after he found the dawn of life He taught himself six languages and medicine.
初中的岁月有些枯燥,求学的日子会牺牲很多追求。当你发现父母眼角的皱纹;河边冒尖的嫩草,大海中远远闪烁的灯塔;虽不惊天动地,却温馨可爱。此时此刻,快乐会荡漾在你的内心深处。
Junior high school years some boring, study days will sacrifice a lot of pursuit. When you find the wrinkles in the corners of your parents' eyes, the tender grass rising from the river, and the lighthouse shining far away in the sea, they are warm and lovely though they do not make the earth shake. At this moment, happiness will ripple in your heart.
快乐到处都有,关键在于能不能去发现。富人的快乐在于生意谈妥,股票上升,地皮升值。穷人的快乐在于家人平安,孩子健康.生活美满。老人的快乐在于下棋有招,看戏有乐,子女孝顺。孩子的快乐在于老师表扬,漫画有趣,去肯德基大快朵颐。
Happiness is everywhere. The key is to find out. The happiness of the rich lies in the negotiation of business, the rise of stocks and the appreciation of land. The happiness of the poor lies in the safety of their families, the health of their children and the happiness of their lives. The happiness of the old man lies in his moves in playing chess, his joy in watching plays and his filial piety. Children's happiness lies in Teachers' praise, funny comics, and eating at KFC.
噢,告诉你一个秘密,记住这个品牌——“百事可乐”,你就会做一个快乐的发现者。
Oh, tell you a secret, remember this brand - "Pepsi Cola", you will be a happy discoverer.
一个关心你的同学
A classmate who cares about you
【阅卷简批】
[review and approval]
“做个快乐的发现者”,笔者认为,“甜甜”的这种状态是因为没有找到属于自己的快乐、缺乏发现而导致的。于是作者以引导的方式来面对“甜甜”这一问题。故事是大家都喜欢听的,尤其韵味深刻的故事能给人带来启发,使人感于故事,感于现实。作者正是在这样地引导,而且故事勾勒的神情饱满,怎能不折服于人呢。而主体部分的举例论证更是句句铿锵有力,容不得质疑,容不得否定,这种先发制人的笔功值得考生欣赏、借鉴。
To be a happy discoverer, I believe that the state of "sweet" is caused by the lack of happiness and discovery. So the author faces the problem of "sweet" in the way of guidance. Stories are what we all like to listen to, especially the profound stories can bring inspiration, make people feel the story, feel the reality. It is in this way that the author guides, and the story is full of expression, how can we not admire people. And the main part of the example argument is the sentence sonorous and powerful, can not be questioned, can not be denied, this pre emptive writing merit is worth the examinee to appreciate and learn.
[发展等级]
[development level]
书信体的写作是学生最早接触也最为熟悉的表达文体,但在这最平常的表达文体中要推陈出新同样不是万难的事。从命题角度看,虽然给作者画地为牢,但在句式、结构等方面同样有所发展余热。作者的开篇很具特色,以哲理的故事开始,将读者带入锁定的方向。这样的开头甚其巧妙,给人的第一印象“似曾相识”,具有很好的吸引读者的诱惑力。
The writing of letter style is the first expression style that students are familiar with, but it is not difficult to innovate in the most common expression style. From the perspective of proposition, although it is a prison for the author, it also has some residual heat in the development of sentence pattern and structure. The author's opening is very distinctive, starting with a philosophical story, which brings the reader into a locked direction. This kind of beginning is very ingenious, giving people the first impression of "deja vu", which has a good attraction to readers.