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如何最大化利用一篇雅思写作范文?实操讲解

怎么来学习一篇9分范文?如何最大化地利用它?来自native speaker + IELTS examiner Simon的范文一篇,先阅读,再评鉴.

雅思题目:

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

前考官9分范文:

Cities are often seen as places of opportunity, but there are also some major drawbacks of living in a large metropolis. In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life for the average inhabitant.

The main problem for anyone who hopes to migrate to a large city is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.

However, there are various steps that governments could take to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to ban vehicles from city centres and promote the use of cleaner public transport, which would help to reduce both air pollution and traffic congestion. In London, for example, the introduction of a congestion charge for drivers has helped to curb the traffic problem. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, in order to reduce the pressure on major cities.

In conclusion, governments could certainly implement a range of measures to enhance the quality of life for all city residents.(273 words, band 9)

雅思9分范文评析:

本题是一道多问题类型话题,①需要考生解析居住城市所遇见的困难,②以及给出政府所能做出的改善建议。

Cities are often seen as places of opportunity(a better life), but there are also some major drawbacks(extremely difficult/difficulties) of living in a large metropolis(a city). In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life(make urban life better) for the average inhabitant(everyone).

首段:改写题目+自己想法。括号中为原文题目。

注意:Simon考官偏爱两句首段方式,简洁明了。

句式:被动句+there be句型

The main problem for anyone (who hopes to migrate to a large city) is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.

第二段,共五句:

①+②:生活成本高+细节拓展(举例:住房、交通、食物)——使用比较:be much higher, pay higher prices

③:社会问题多(举例:犯罪、贫穷)——使用比较:in comparison

④:空气污染重(源于交通问题,然后顺带提到交通拥挤)

⑤:简单总结

句式:定语从句+表语从句

However, there are various steps (that governments could take) to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to ban vehicles from city centres and promote the use of cleaner public transport, which would help to reduce both air pollution and traffic congestion. In London, for example, the introduction of a congestion charge for drivers has helped to curb the traffic problem. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, in order to reduce the pressure on major cities.

第三段,共五句:

①:简单总起

②:方案一,降低生活成本——投资廉价房源

③+④:方案二,减少空气污染、减轻交通压力——限制汽车使用,使用清洁型新汽车。举例——伦敦拥堵费

⑤:方案三,减轻交通压力——从市中心外移工业企业

句式:there be+定语从句+非限制性定语从句

In conclusion, governments could certainly implement a range of measures to enhance the quality(make urban life better) of life for all city residents(everyone).

结尾一句,再次申明观点,改写原文,或者改写首段第二句观点皆可。

全文总结:

全文共运用:被动句+表语从句+非限制定语从句+2句there be句+2句定语从句

large cities —— a large metropolis —— urban areas —— major cities

a better life —— places of opportunity

difficulties —— major drawbacks

do much more —— tackle these problems —— implement a range of measures

improve city life —— enhance the quality of life

everyone —— average inhabitant —— all city residents

rural areas —— a small town or village —— provincial towns —— regions

public transport —— vehicle —— traffic

public transport systems are usually overcrowded —— congestion

注意:同义替换并不代表意思相同,只要类似即可。

最后是来自Simon考官的友情提示:不要在连接词上费太多心思,用first of all替代first绝非文章的亮点所在!

所以,从词汇句子角度,可读;从行文框架思路角度,可读;从论证方法角度,可读,一鱼三吃,说的即是如此雅思好文。

2018年8月2日雅思写作考试真题范文 传统与现代游戏的对比

2018年8月2日雅思写作大作文:Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills , while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? 有人说现代儿童游戏并没有培养出广泛的技能,而传统游戏可以更好的发展那些技能。你在多大程度上同意或不同意? 纯新题一枚,难度还是有的。

雅思话题思路解析:

1. 现代游戏的好处:打电子游戏能锻炼孩子们的眼手协调,反应。还有,在处理游戏的数据过程中,孩子们也学会了计算,分析和推导能力。此外,电脑游戏也让孩子们学会使用鼠标,键盘和社交网络。

2. 然而,我仍然认为传统游戏更好。第一,下棋有效地提高了孩子们的智商和认知能力。举例,孩子们需要学会记忆,在大脑中推测和假设,还要学会将分析视觉化。

3. 此外,传统的户外游戏,如野外定向运动,培养了孩子们的生活技能,如识别地图,做饭,以及急救知识。

雅思范文参考:

While the industry of electronic game is booming by leaps and bounds with more and more people enjoying the fun it brings, some start to proclaim that it develops a smaller range of skills than the traditional games, with which I disagree, for it sounds just like another story of the backward who is intimidated by what is new.

First, let’s see what is the most possible reason we can expect from their saying. Traditional games engage more body participation and therefore, more physical training, while the modern ones do not, but is that true? With the device of latest technique, modern games could happen within a small room in virtual reality and child can really do the movement of wielding a badminton bat or even a sword anywhere, feeling it rather than just seeing it on the screen, with the sensors held in hand. In this way, you don’t have to worry that kids will sit all day dropping off their physical abilities. But modern games can do more goods with children’s skills than that. While traditional games are typically composed of a playground, a ball or some other thingies, a certain number of people and rules, modern games have manoeuvred these elements in a variety of form with sci-tech innovations and the help of other professions. Kids who are playing modern games are immersed in the vivid animation of art, the considerate interaction designs, a storytelling plot, the strategies of cooperation with other players, and way more than these. How could they be blind and deaf to these all if they are not picking up skills along the course of game.

To conclude, I think those who are clamoring, carping and blaring about children’s lack of gains from modern games are only lacked of imagination, that is, the imagination of future and the development of technologies.

2018年8月2日雅思写作真题范文

话题Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills , while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?现代游戏不能广泛培养孩子的各种能力,而传统游戏则在这方面做得更好,同意与否?

雅思话题与思路分析

本题属于常见的argument提问方式,虽然“游戏”对大多数考生都不陌生,但越是熟悉的,越小心argument fallacy&irrelevant exemplification,以免被评卷人下狠手。题目出现明显的traditional games 和modern children's games,请考生留意reasoning trap。要特别注意CC;topic,main idea ,和support sentence 的相关性。

第一段:引入背景点题

第二段:让步肯定,目前来说,孩童能在少数的传统游戏中学到一些现代游戏很难提供的技能锻炼

第三/四/五段:转折相比下,现代游戏在培养宽泛技能上优于传统游戏的原因。

第六段:结尾总结观点

雅思写作参考范文:

The mainstream view of gaming has become less curmudgeonly in recent years;we no longer regard games as a horrible evil demon trying to corrupt our children. However, there is a divergence of people’s opinions about whether traditional games are more likely to foster children’s skills than the modern games

Undeniably, in the contemporary life exist a few old games providing children with certain valuable skills that can hardly be offered by the modern consoles. Specifically, the vast majority of teenagers nowadays indulge into a series of virtual games online, such as electronic-based football playing, but never ever do those gaming attendees pick up the real skills like shooting on fields in reality, simply for the lack of exercise physically involved.

However, I firmly insist that current games give the young more chances to tap their potential capabilities to reap more profitable skills. The skills gained from the outdated games can be almost achieved in modern ones, as nowadays most traditional games like playing chess, and multi-player games are more accessible online. Thanks to the current gaming with less time and geographical restriction, teens are more likely to participate in, and sometimes lead, a more diverse, mixed-age team, enabling them to adjust to different surrounding.

More importantly, modern gaming is better in helping introverted children develop interpersonal skills and enlarge their friend-zone. Regardless of the gender, race, and religion, those children with mild learning disabilities can better express their personalities freely and even cooperate with others in modern video games.

Furthermore, Recent years have witnessed a large number of video games designed to serve the educational purpose. the cutting-edge technology gives the current gaming an advantage in its content and forms, which is largely conducive to language learning skills, in comparison with the old counterparts.by the integration of animations and sound recording into the current video games, children at an early age are more interested in and feel much easier to pick up a new kind of language, which all may be rarely realized in outmoded gaming.

In conclusion, from my perspective, the modern games that are constantly being updated and advancing so fast prepare children better to foster more skills than the old ones

雅思写作范文高光词汇

The mainstream view of 主流观点 less curmudgeonly 不那么狭隘了

a divergence分歧 indulge into沉迷

multi-player games多人游戏 be substituted by 替代

a diverse, mixed-age team多元化,年龄层复杂的队伍

enlarge their friends’zone.扩大朋友圈

with mild learning disabilities轻微学习障碍

the cutting-edge technology尖端科技

serve educational purpose实现教育目的

in the contemporary life exist a few old games 完全倒装

but never do they pick up 部分倒装

enabling them to adjust to different surrounding 结果状语

participate in, and sometimes lead, a more diverse, mixed-age team 平行结构

games designed to / exercise physically involved. 分词后置定语

which all can hardly be realized in ancient gaming.非限定定从

about whether traditional games are more likely to宾语从句

when children play video games in groups, 条件状语

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