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A Prophet of Evil

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  THROUGH massacres2 of each other's citizens China and the United

  States had been four times plunged3 into devastating4 wars, when, in

  the year 1994, arose a Philosopher in Madagascar, who laid before

  the Governments of the two distracted countries the following MODUS

  VIVENDI:

  "Massacres are to be sternly forbidden as heretofore; but any

  citizen or subject of either country disobeying the injunction is

  to detach the scalps of all persons massacred and deposit them with

  a local officer designated to receive and preserve them and sworn

  to keep and render a true account thereof. At the conclusion of

  each massacre1 in either country, or as soon thereafter as

  practicable, or at stated regular periods, as may be provided by

  treaty, there shall be an exchange of scalps between the two

  Governments, scalp for scalp, without regard to sex or age; the

  Government having the greatest number is to be taxed on the excess

  at the rate of $1000 a scalp, and the other Government credited

  with the amount. Once in every decade there shall be a general

  settlement, when the balance due shall be paid to the creditor5

  nation in Mexican dollars."

  The plan was adopted, the necessary treaty made, with legislation

  to carry out its provisions; the Madagascarene Philosopher took his

  seat in the Temple of Immortality6, and Peace spread her white wings

  over the two nations, to the unspeakable defiling7 of her plumage.

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