路的两旁氤氲着乳白色的雾气,前面是一条悠长悠长的古道,迷离神奇。
There is milky fog on both sides of the road. In front of it is a long and ancient road, which is mysterious.
我准备沿着这条充满神秘的古道去找寻自己幸福的人生,一束极细的光芒从遥远的天际透射过来,抚摸着那历经悠悠岁月的古道刻痕,它闪耀着夺目的光芒。
I'm going to follow this mysterious ancient road to find my own happy life. A very fine ray of light is transmitted from the distant sky, touching the ancient road marks after a long time. It shines with dazzling light.
一串串脚印散落在岁月的路途中,我要去寻找那决定人一生的那一步,用心去发现一个刻满幸福的出口。
A string of footprints scattered on the way of the years, I want to find the step that determines a person's life, and find an exit full of happiness with my heart.
我渐行渐远,我渐进渐远……
I'm moving away, I'm moving away
终于,我发现路在此时分成了两个岔口,两扇高大的门摆在面前,它们的上面镌刻着“一步与一生”,苍劲的字体中流淌着充满理性的溪流。
Finally, I found that the road was divided into two forks at this time. Two tall doors were placed in front of them, on which were engraved "one step and one life". In the vigorous font, there was a stream full of rationality.
我打开其中一扇门,发现上面雕刻着许许多多的小字,我仔细凝视,仿佛时光在这里轮回翻转……
I opened one of the doors and found that there were many small characters carved on it. I stared at it carefully, as if time was turning around here
“曾经的庄子从这里走过,为了摆脱一个屈从权势的社会,他推开了这扇门,然后决绝地跨了过去,做了一棵在夜里独自守望月亮的树”。
"Chuang Tzu once walked by here. In order to get rid of a society that was subservient to power, he pushed the door open, and then he made a tree to watch the moon alone at night.".
“曾经的五柳先生从这里走过,为了摒弃官场的丑恶,他驾着破旧的马车从这扇门驶过,然后‘采菊东篱下,悠然见南山’”。
"Mr. Wuliu once walked by here. In order to get rid of the ugliness of the officialdom, he drove through the door with a shabby carriage, and then" picked chrysanthemums under the eastern fence, and saw Nanshan leisurely ".
“曾经的东坡先生从这里走过,为了遗忘痛苦的失意,他穿着粗衣淡定地走了过去,在荒凉的黄州‘倚杖听江声’,任凭人生的失意而高唱‘大江东去,浪淘尽’”。
"Once Mr. Dongpo passed here. In order to forget the painful disappointment, he walked quietly in coarse clothes. In the desolate Huangzhou, he" leaned on his staff to listen to the sound of the river "and let the disappointment of his life sing" the river goes East, the waves run out ".
我品读着这曾经的故事,路旁的竹林也在歌唱,我要把他们谱写成一曲沧桑而美丽的歌谣。
I read this once story, and the bamboo forest beside the road is singing. I want to compose them into a song of vicissitudes and beauty.
我又走到另外一个路口仰望另一扇门,它上面同样刻满了密密麻麻的小字。
I went to another intersection and looked up at another door, which was also engraved with small words.
“西楚霸王项羽面对刘邦的追兵从这里逃走,忆起昔日的鸿门宴,不禁哀叹‘时不利兮骓不逝,骓不逝兮可奈何,虞兮虞兮奈若何?’”
"Xiang Yu, the overlord of the Western Chu state, runs away from Liu Bang's pursuers. Remembering the Hongmen banquet in the past, he can't help but lament that" when the time is not good, the Zhui will not die. When the Zhui will not die, what can I do? How can I do? "
“残忍阴险的秦桧从这里步入罪恶的深渊,杀岳飞,贬忠良,他的一生必定是让世人唾弃的一生,永远地钉在历史的耻辱柱上。”
"Qin Hui, cruel and insidious, stepped into the abyss of sin from here, killed Yue Fei and demoted his loyalty and virtue. His life must be a life that the world despised and forever nailed to the column of historical shame."
“居心叵测的陈水扁从这里走上了分裂国家的道路,嘴角邪恶的笑容干枯了他丑恶的灵魂。”
"The sinister Chen Shuibian has embarked on the road of splitting the country from here, and the evil smile on his lips has dried up his ugly soul."
我不想再读下去,抚摸眼前的这扇门,沧桑而厚重。历史本没错!错的是他们洞开了本不应该洞开的大门,跨出了他们本不应该跨出的一步!
I don't want to read on and touch the door in front of me. It's vicissitudes and heaviness. History is right! What's wrong is that they have opened the gate that they should not have opened and stepped out of the step that they should not have taken!
枫竹林飘荡着幸福的歌谣,我回眸最初的那扇门,它闪着幽蓝幽蓝的光,我毫不犹豫地走了进去,迎接我期待的黄金般的人生!
Maple bamboo forest is floating with happy ballads. I look back at the original door, which is shining with blue light. I walk in without hesitation to meet the golden life I am looking forward to!
名师点评
Famous teachers' comments
这是一篇构思巧妙,既有独特思想,又有深刻见解的考场佳作。
This is a masterwork with ingenious conception, unique thoughts and profound insights.
作者驰骋想象的翅膀,开篇,用抒情的笔触为我们设置描绘了一方迷离神奇的梦幻景致,昭示全文的表现手法和写作风格,为后文做铺垫。并用假想手法设定一条神秘的古道,用以开启后文。正是有了这条神秘的古道,抒情主人公“我”才能“去找寻幸福的人生”,于是,才有了后文的情景、故事、认知以及感慨。
The author gallops the wings of imagination, starts the article, sets up and describes a mysterious dreamland scene with lyrical strokes for us, shows the expression technique and writing style of the full text, and paves the way for the later text. And set up a mysterious ancient road with imaginary technique to open the following text. It is with this mysterious ancient road that the lyric hero "I" can "find a happy life". Therefore, there are scenes, stories, cognition and feelings in the following passage.
行文至第三自然段,作者才点明题目,为下文导航,直奔主题,用排比,用特写,用对比,铺陈渲染,描绘自己在镌刻着“一步与一生”的幸福出口,欣然发现时光在这里轮回翻转。有幸与庄子、五柳先生、东坡先生以及霸王项羽、奸佞秦桧、小丑阿扁等人中豪杰或世上腌臜不期而遇的情状,或感受他们的迷人风采,或触摸他们的温暖脉搏,或感慨他们的不屈风骨,或怒斥他们的卑鄙伎俩,或鞭挞他们的丑恶灵魂。精彩地谱写了一曲沧桑的歌谣。
In the third natural paragraph, the author points out the topic, navigates for the following, goes straight to the theme, uses parallelism, close-up, contrast and exaggeration to depict his happiness exit engraved with "one step and life", and is glad to find that time turns around here. I have the honor to meet with heroes like Chuang Tzu, Wu Liu, Dong Po, Xiang Yu, Qin Hui, ah Bian, or feel their charming demeanor, touch their warm pulse, or feel their unyielding character, or denounce their despicable tactics, or lash their ugly soul. He composed a song of vicissitudes of life.
结尾,作者充满豪情,融入自我,照应开头,使主题得以升华。
At the end, the author is full of pride, integrates into himself, takes care of the beginning, and sublimates the theme.