叙利奥读小学五年级,12岁。他的父亲在铁路工作,还有几个比叙利奥小的儿女。父亲最爱叙利奥,一家人过着清苦的生活。
Sulio is a 12-year-old in the fifth grade of primary school. His father worked on the railway and had a few younger children. My father loves sulio most, and my family lives a miserable life.
最近,父亲接了一些签条来抄写。叙利奥想替父亲抄写,父亲不答应。叙利奥不再请求父亲,等父亲休息后起来替父亲工作,由于睡眠不足,白天经常打盹儿。父亲却一而再再二三地误解叙利奥。叙利奥被误解后,总是下决心要停止工作,但是为了父亲为了家庭他又继续工作。父亲到最后竟然不管他,他的身体也越来越弱。终于有一天,父亲知道真相,请求叙利奥原谅,也更爱叙利奥。
Recently, my father received some autographs to copy. Sulio wanted to copy for his father, but his father refused. Shulio no longer asked his father to work for him after he had a rest. Due to lack of sleep, he often dozed off during the day. His father misunderstood him again and again. After being misunderstood, he always made up his mind to stop working, but he continued to work for his father and his family. At the end of the day, my father didn't care about him, and he was getting weaker and weaker. Finally one day, my father knew the truth and asked for his forgiveness and love.
点评:
Comment:
1.文章主旨明确,内容完整,描述了小主人公偷偷帮父亲抄签条被误解,最终父亲明白了事实真相的整个事件的核心内容。
1. The main idea of the article is clear and the content is complete. It describes that the little hero secretly helped his father copy the signature slip, which was misunderstood. Finally, the father understood the core content of the whole event.
2.语言简洁明了,逻辑性强,如保留对家庭成员的介绍、父亲对叙利奥原本耳朵爱及生活的清苦,就为身为长子的叙利奥为何引发“抄签条事件”,承受着的巨大心理压力埋好了伏笔。将父亲的多次误解及种种表现用“一而再再二三”来体现,可谓精妙准确。文章结尾更是简明扼要。
2. The language is concise and logical. For example, keeping the introduction of family members, the father's original love for sulio's ears and the hardships of life, it foreshadows why sulio, as the eldest son, caused the "scribing event" and the huge psychological pressure he was under. It can be said that it is exquisite and accurate to use "one after another, two or three" to reflect the father's many misunderstandings and various performances. The end of the article is more concise.
要相信付出了必将会有收获
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