middle-age is a crucial period and middle-aged women are facing even more dangers. youth is still lingering on there, but it cant stand any carelessness or negligence. staying youth can be likened to climbing a steep hill, while negligence will lead to decrepitude overnight. those who feed on their youth will have to opt otherwise at this stage.
this is a time full of temptations, alluring girls and glamourous women pop up everywhere, making the discomposed men confused and disoriented, leaving behind more and more broken-up families and abandoned wives, thereby leading the middle-aged to the heartfelt realization that women cannot afford to grow old.
beauty parlors are being opened one after another and the cosmetics market is getting more and more prosperous in order to keep the youthful face of women forever fresh.. proper facial care, hair-dressing or aerobics are all necessary for women, but they are only superficial and can not last long. they can in no way do the cosmetic make-ups round-the-clock.. what will become of them after removing the cosmetics from their face?
women need to refine their mind and to make themselves more intellectually prepared 。 they need the sense of security too. we may well say that mens youth lies in their career while womens youth relies on their state of mind and cultivation because of the rise of yin and the decline of yang, we can see many capable women devising and calculating with all their might. they used to be very beautiful, and are now still charming, but they are middle-aged after all. how long can they still preserve their diminishing youth?
what are those women after? money? but will they be happy if they have to count the money with their skinny shriveled hands after they have successfully become wealthy old ladies?
maybe they are seeking for spacious houses and limousines. but these are just tools to serve us, just like a motorcycle is for us to ride on, not for us to carry on our shoulders. is it still worth the price if their pursuit has become a burden or a pressure that calls for the sacrifice of their youth?
or maybe they need the money for their children to study abroad. but studying abroad is not the ambition of everyone. as we always say that children have their own luck, we shouldnt choose the same way for them to grow up. doing business or going in for politics, working at civilian posts or as military officials are different choices for different children. some even want to become chess players and it is such a wonderful career that after becoming successful, they can make playing chess a rewarding profession.. why should we try our best to send our children abroad where there are so many uncertainties? whats the point of the sacrifice of our precious youth to send our children to somewhere that may be heaven, or hell?
we should be moderate at seeking wealth, for there is no limit for it. a billionaire eats no more than three meals a day and sleeps in one bed at night while a family living on a meager salary can be very happy and healthy. we may feel sometimes that the luxurious beijing roast duck is no more delicious than the simple pancakes with shallots. only when they keep a peaceful heart can they face both favors and humiliations with composure.
what do the middle-aged women need in order to maintain their youth and doomed decrepitude? fine qualities and good manners, confidence and calmness. dont do too much extra work, dont tire yourselves out, and never try anything beyond your capacity and energy.
whats more, they need security and friendship. no matter how strong a man is, he needs support; no matter how independent a woman is, she needs backing. the flowery girls may care about nothing but amusement, and they may not consider even the reliability and capability of a man. middle-aged women, however, are much more practical, and they have to face the loyalty and creativity of a man. what they are seeking is the most loyal, the most responsible, the most powerful, the most reliable and the most trustworthy love which is nearly eternal and unchangeable. any kind of strike may wear away their youth which is once gone never to return.
middle-aged women must keep a clear head instead of doing things out of willfulness. they should be able to judge who is sincere and who is hypocritical. once they choose the hypocritical instead of the sincere out of carelessness, tragedy will definitely fall on them. in fact, one whim may decide whether they will live in heaven or stay in hell.
all women have one weak point—they are easily enchanted by mens flattery. therere numerous sweet-tongued men, but loyal ones are hard to find. they may use sweet words to flatter you or they may be soft-spoken and submissive, but that is when they are weak and in need of help. as soon as the situation is different, they may change immediately. we always think the weak is the reliable, but this is misleading. the weak may be pitiable, but not always reliable. reliability doesnt mean being weak or strong, but depends on whether one can master himself. if someone, when absent from home, does what he dares not do at home, then how can he be regarded as a trustworthy man?
the middle-aged women, with the exception of those who work at special posts, neednt fight too hard. instead, they should encourage men to temper themselves in this world. studying with ease, working with ease, living with ease and facing everything with ease are what middle-aged women should try to do. ease is the symbol of ever-lasting youth and also the glamour of all middle-aged women.
may all kindhearted women enjoy an easy life and ever-lasting youth!
translated by zhang baodan
june 20, ～
中文
人到中年是个坎，女人们会面临更多的考验。青春似乎还在，却容不得大意和放任。保持青春已如爬坡，任由衰老会一泻千里。吃青春饭的行业，则面临着重新择业和转行。
如今毕竟是灯红酒绿的时代。到处是闲花野草，到处有妩媚妖娆，搞得没有定力的男人们晕头转向、身不由已，从而让中年社会由衷地感到：女人不能老。
美容保健业所以日渐发达，化装品市场所以如火如荼，也正是为了保住女人们这张青春艳丽的脸。适时和适度的美容、美发、美体，对女人们是完全必要的。但这毕竟是表面文章。表面文章能维持多久呢？人不能 24 小时都在脂粉的遮盖下渡过。卸装之后怎么办？
女人需要修身养性，需要增加内涵，也需要安全感。我们也可以说：男人的青春在事业，女人的青春在心态。
因为阴盛阳衰现象的存在，我们看到许多忙忙碌碌的女人们，挣命似地在运筹着、工作着。她们曾经很有姿色，至今风韵犹存，但毕竟徐娘半老，长此下去保得住吗？
女人们在追求什么呢？金钱？就算她们如愿以偿，最后成了富婆，用衰老的枯掌去数钱，会幸福吗？
也许在追求阔宅豪车。但这些都应该是为人服务的，就象我们可以骑摩托而不能扛摩托一样，如果这种追求成了负担、成了压力、甚至付出青春的代价，那还值吗？
或者为孩子留学出国。可出国留学并非是每个人的追求。且不说儿孙自有儿孙福，众人的成长也不会都走一条道路。从商从政，从文从武，各不相同。有人选择了下棋，下好了，边玩边豪华一生。你一定把儿女送出国，国外也有不少陷阱啊！何必熬着自己的青春最后把孩子送到那可天可地的国度？
对金钱、对物质，追求要适度。因为这些东西，没有止境，没有够，只在自己如何把握。亿万富翁，也日食三餐，夜宿一床。几百元工资的家庭，面色却可能红通通。有时你真可能觉得，北京烤鸭竟香不过煎饼卷大葱。所以对物质世界，保持一个好心态，才能得失傲然，宠辱不惊。
要保住青春，延缓衰老，人到中年的女人需要什么呢？她们需要气质、需要风度、需要从容不迫，需要气定神闲。学业不熬夜，事业不拼命，甚至不必力所能及，而要游刃有余。
她们还需要安全和友谊。再强大的男人，也需要搀扶；再好强的女人也需要依靠。花季的女孩，可以不管不顾，她们那时甚至不必考虑男人的可靠和能力，只要好玩。而中年以后的女子则现实得多了，他们不得不面对男人的忠诚和创造力。甚至可以说，她们现在需要寻求世界上最真诚、最责任、最强大、又最可信赖和依靠的一种近于永恒的爱。任何风浪颠簸的打击，都会打击她们的青春，而青春有可能一去不回头。
人到中年的女性，需要清醒，而不能一厢情愿。她们一定要判断好，哪些是真的，哪些可能把握不住。如果由于轻率、由于不经意而丢失了真挚，选择了假，一定会产生悲剧。其实，一念之间就可能决定未来在天、还是在地。
女人们有个弱点，就是常常迷惑于男人的奉承。会说漂亮活的男人有的是，但忠贞不二的男人却少得很。也许他们处在弱势或有所求的时候，会花言巧语，甚至低声下气，可形势变化了则不尽然。人们总以为弱者最可靠。其实这是个误区。弱者会可怜，但不一定可靠。是否可靠的根本，不在于强弱，而在于是否能把握自己。大家都“将在外君命有所不受”，还有什么可信度？
人到中年的女人，不在非常岗位，不必奋力拼搏，而应更多地鼓励男人闯天下。从容学习、从容做事，从容生活，从容面对一切。从容是她们青春永在的标志，也是她们的魅力所在。
让我们祝愿一切善良的女人都能从容不迫，青春常在！
