托福写作低分原因分析

万事开头难，这点放到托福考试的写作中也是一样的。拿到作文题目想好了提纲却不知道如何展开的情况在考生中是比较常见的。下面小编就和大家分享托福独立写作开头段4种优秀写法模板实例分析点评，希望能够帮助到大家，来欣赏一下吧。

托福独立写作开头段4种优秀写法模板实例分析点评

1. 标准写法：直接表明立场开门见山

题目：

Businesses are as likely as are governments to establish large bureaucracies, but bureaucracy is far more damaging to a business than it is to a government.

模板：

Contrary to the statement’s premise, my view is that businesses are less likely than government to establish large bureaucracies, because businesses know that they are more vulnerable than government to damage resulting from bureaucratic inefficiencies. My position is well supported by common sense and by observation.

点评：

开门见山式的开头段写法其实是比较标准的一种写法，因为托福的独立写作从题目要求来说本质上就是一篇议论文，而且还是立论文，需要考生自己提出观点然后论述证明。那么在开头段就直接鲜明地亮出观点无疑是很合理的写法，对考官来说也能第一时间就看到你的观点，可以说是对读者比较友好的一种写法。比如上面的这个模板，就是第一句话直接写出了自己对题目的反对立场，并且最后给出了引出下面正式论述的引导句。这种开头段写法虽然不玩花样看似有点平淡甚至BORING，但对于不要求太多文笔更看重论述逻辑的议论文来说确实是比较高效的写法，也很适合新手考生进行模仿学习。

2. 创意写法：引用谚语名言联系现实

题目：

“As technologies and the demand for certain services change, many workers will lose their jobs. The responsibility for those people to adjust to such change should belong to the individual worker, not to government or to business.

模板：

As a saying goes, “God helps those help themselves”, which is true in most cases. But as far as the large numbers of laid-off workers caused by the technological and market changes are concerned, I believe the government and the business certainly have an unshakable responsibility to take.

点评：

这种写法就比较有创意了，当然大家在写中文作文时肯定也用过，就是开头就先引用个名人名言压一下场面，比如某某曾经说过。。。这样的写法。这种写法对考生的英语积累有一定要求，引用的谚语或者名言既要符合题目场景切题，考生也需要完整记住这句名言而不能自行修改甚至凭空捏造，无论是强行凑名言还是伪造的做法都只会让结果适得其反。当然这种写法能够一定程度上展现出考生的英语素养和积累，可以说是一种比较炫技的写法，大家如果在英语的言语名言方面有不错的积累可以考虑一下这种写法。

3. 稳妥写法：先复述原题再引出观点

题目：

"We shape our buildings and afterwards our buildings shape us.”

模板：

I believe this statement should be interpreted broadly—to mean that we are influenced by the exterior shape of buildings, as well as by the arrangement of multiple buildings and by a building’s various architectural and aesthetic elements. While I doubt that buildings determine our character or basic personality traits, I agree that they can greatly influence our attitudes, moods, and even life styles.

点评：

这种写法比起直接开门见山亮观点的写法来说可能更加稳妥一些，毕竟先简单复述题目再表达自己观点是托福官方指南OG中比较推荐的开头写法。而且无论考生对题目观点是否赞同，对题目复述之后进行适当的让步再亮出观点也是一种比较委婉的表述方式。当然这种写法需要注意不能引用太多原题，而且不能照搬需要用自己的话来适当改动一下。这其中的度大家需要把握好，否则反而会引起一些不必要的扣分。

4. 设问写法：自问自答给出立场态度

题目：

"As technologies and the demand for certain services change, many workers will lose their jobs. The responsibility for those people to adjust to such change should belong to the individual worker, not to government or to business.”

模板：

As technology and changing social needs render more and more jobs obsolete, who is responsible for helping displaced workers adjust? While individuals have primary responsibility for learning new skills and finding work, both industry and government have some obligation to provide them the means of doing so.

点评：

自问自答式的开头段写法在托福考试官方给出的范文类资料中是比较少见的。这种设问写法的作用也很明显，通过汇总其实也就是变相复述一下原题目，对其中比较尖锐的矛盾问题直接以提问的形式来引出之后自己的看法。这种写法其实是比较挑题目的，如果作文原题是那种有明显对立互斥观点，或者要求考生二选一的题目，那么用这种写法就比较适合了。而对于一些只要求考生给出自己的观点比较平淡一些的题目，这种写法可能就会给人强行挑事的感觉了。因此大家学习这种开头模板写法需要注意根据题目来选择使用。

总而言之，托福独立写作对开头段的要求比较高，考生需要写出优秀的开头段才能让自己的文章更有吸引力拿到更好的成绩。本文中提供的这4种写法模板，大家也可以尝试学习模仿一下，如果能够熟练掌握，应该会对大家的独立写作提分带来一定帮助。

托福写作模板:食物保存

Nowadays，food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

托福写作模板及范文参考：

Nowadays， wherever we turn our gaze， we can see different types of food that are easier to prepare. For instance， we can buy frozen foods in a supermarket and just prepare it in a couple of minutes， whereas before it could have taken us maybe hours to prepare this kind of meals. I would accept that this so-called improvement has changed our lives， but I believe that there are some drawbacks as well.

It is true that these kinds of food do not involve hard work to prepare， but food that is easy to prepare generally has some artificial ingredients mixed in it that makes it “easy-to-cook”. If we take time to read the ingredients， we would definitely come across words like preservatives or artificial flavorings. It was just a couple of days ago that I came across a newspaper article which stated that someone was poisoned because he ate this type of food. He was hospitalized for almost a month.

Not having to cook has also taken the fun out of cooking. Cooking is an art， but in today's world， this is no more true. People are so busy with their work that they just rely on this simple foods. The invention and production of this foods have made people lazy not only for cooking but also for a well family get-together. It was not like former times when families would sit together and eat freshly baked food. Instead， they are getting these artificial things with minimal nutrients in them.

Cooking in the yesteryears was much better than today's. People would spend more time in the kitchen， preparing the food in the way that they liked it. This brought families closer together and also contributed to the high quality and nutrition of the food. Granted， people are busier nowadays and do not have as much time as they did in the past， but I believe that people have forgotten the importance of healthy， fresh food and of the time a family spends together preparing the food. So， I would say that having food that is easy to prepare has had many disadvantages.

托福写作模板:在校学生打工

In some countries， teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

托福写作范文参考:

I don't think it is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. It can interfere with their studies， it can disrupt their home life， and it takes away pan of their childhood that they can never replace.

Education today is very complex and difficult. In order to learn and get good grades， a student must work very hard and concentrate. This means attending classes from early in the morning until late afternoon， then doing research for projects， then going home and doing homework. It's a busy schedule for anyone. For someone trying to hold down a job， it's even harder. Students need all their energy for their studies. If they're working after class at night， they're going to be tired the next day. They won't be able to concentrate. This will have a negative impact on their learning， and eventually on their grades.

Having a job can also disrupt a teenager's home life. Families spend less and less time together. If a teenager has a job to go to after school， he won't be home for dinner. He won't be home after dinner， either， and may not get home until late at night. This means he doesn't have a lot of time to spend with his family. If he doesn't have a car， it can mean changes in his parents' schedules， too. They have to drive him to work and pick him up.

The main drawback of a teenager having a job while he's still a student is that he's missing out on the fun of being young. He has a whole lifetime in which he'll have to earn a living. This is the last free time he'll have. It's the last chance he'll have to hang out with friends and just enjoy himself.

Soon enough he'll have to worry about paying the rent and buying food.

Jobs bring money， but money isn't everything. A teenager with a job gives up too much. No one should spend all his time at work， and especially not a teenager.